Escaped Thoughts

Tue, May 31, 2005

Teaching Aliens To Think Outside The Box

So through some random link-following I read some of a highly amusing site run by someone trying warn people of the dangers posed by the aliens experimenting on us, and explaining how you can defend yourself (the answer, of course, being the next generation in tin-foil hats—just as stupid looking, but now with 10 times the mind-control-stopping effectiveness). What struck me most is that we apparently know that among other things aliens can:

  • Control gravity
  • Pass through solid objects
  • Perform surgical procedures

And yet “aliens have not been able to remove a thought screen helmet secured with tape or string.” Clearly these aliens need some help managing their invasion, if they haven't managed to figure out how to apply their powers and tools to the daunting task of cutting through tape. But since they can read my thoughts from 100 miles away, I'm sure they are on their way over right now to discuss a lucrative consulting contract.

Category: Random

Writebacks (2)

Yes, They Do Make You Look Fat

You know who would look totally hot in pants a number of sizes too small for her?

Nobody.

I'm not clear on how someone who has thought through the need to wear a thong (which reminds me, wearing too-tight pants made of thin white material is a whole extra level of not-hot) to avoid having visible lines can miss the fat bulging out all around the top of her pants.

The lesson here is, if the answer to the question, “do these pants make me look fat” is painfully clearly “Yes, very much so, and skanky to boot!”, then don't wear them.

The preceding has been a public service announcement on behalf of everyone has to go out in public and be subjected to that sort of thing.

Category: Society

Writebacks (0)